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PARENTING
For your wisest investment as a
parent, click on
PARENTING WITHOUT
STRESS:
How to Raise Responsible kids While
Keeping a Life of Your own
You
will find the following from a parent
very enlightening:
After
reading Dr. Marshall's book,
"Discipline Without Stress, Punishments
or Rewards," I realized that if I
was going to use his approach in my
classroom, I should try it at home
first. As a mother of two teenagers,
creating an environment that was
stress-free really appealed to me. I
talked to my children about
how
stressful things had been at home
and shared with them a little bit about
the program that I was "trying out" on
them.
Later that day, I heard my daughter
slamming doors and screaming at the top
of her lungs at her brother.
Before,
I would have stormed in to intervene and
quickly react to the situation without
even thinking. Instead, I calmly
began using such
questions as,
"Is what you are doing something that is
beneficial?"
My daughter stopped and looked at me and
said, "Oh, this is that discipline thing
you are using at school, right? Okay,
so, no! No, it is not."
I asked, "Is what you are doing
something that falls in line with the
standards of our family?" She sighed,
"No." I said, "Would you tell me what
our family rule is regarding yelling?"
She relayed to me that yelling was not
allowed and that if we had anything to
say we could say it in a calm manner.
Finally, I said, "Well, what do you
think we should do about this?" I
told her to go to her room and
reflect on what we should do about
what had happened between her and her
brother.
A little while later, she came back and
asked to talk to her brother. She
apologized for yelling at him and
proceeded to give us a list of
consequences that she had decided
on. "I guess I should not use the
computer for three weeks, or talk on the
phone, or go to the movies with my
friends," she began to list.
We were stunned! Honestly, this
was the first
time that she had really accepted responsibility
for something so calmly. The next three
weeks were very interesting. She
answered the phone and we could hear her
explain, "I can't talk on the phone
right now because my parents. . . I
mean, I have restricted myself."
Since using this in our home, life
seems so much more enjoyable. The
truth is that our children do know what
is expected of them.
Holding them to
a higher level of responsibility has
made all of our lives more peaceful.
Thank you.
Wendi Hall, Vestavia Hills, Alabama
Click here for "Tips for Parents"
This is a portable
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Drag it to you desktop, and then print
it for ready reference.
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